Growth

"All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward." — Ellen Glasgow

Earlier this month, I had a long chat with a friend. I told him that my plants usually stopped thriving when I stopped caring for myself. Defensively, I said, “It’s not anything spiritual.”

When my plants stop growing or begin to die, it’s usually due to my routine, neglecting time-sensitive chores, or depression.

When I separated from the Marine Corps, I was happy to leave the barracks and let plants invade my apartments. Plants helped me keep track of my mood and (probably) helped me form healthier habits and routines.

Since then, I’ve moved and lost plant babies several times. I’m growing new house plants and prepping some for life in my bedroom.

After moving into my new apartment in February, I finished setting up the last piece of furniture and made $230 from trading options this morning.

I’m still learning about charting when trading options, but I know enough to make a profit. My strategy includes investing time and money into resources that help me learn new ways to grow my portfolio.

I trade options during the most chaotic times in my life, and I’m not sure what that says about me and my style of adventure.

When I thought about growth in the past, I imagined growth in three main areas: finances, career opportunities, and maturity.

Today, those three things are (sort of) important to me, but my perspective on elements of growth has changed. I’m working on healthier ways to manage periods of rapid growth and appreciate the idle seasons in life. Releasing guilt that isn’t mine has helped me appreciate new moments and new opportunities in my life.

There were moments in my 20s when I felt like I was growing too fast and wanted to puke. Back then, there were seasons of nothingness and no sales from clients, and I felt like a failure.

My philosophy regarding rest, goals, and capitalism has changed now that my 30s have kissed me on the forehead. Some days, I ignore chores and my writing goals to play video games. Some days, I trade while gaming, which I would not recommend.

Part of leaning into the healthier areas of my personal growth includes minimizing risk in my life—especially the stuff I can actively avoid.

Now in my 30s, with my projects and projects for clients to manage, I try to focus on taking care of myself. Taking care of myself might be what I need to navigate the chaotic moments in my career.

Some of that growth and self-care include surrounding myself with things and ideas that enrich my spirit and free my mind.